Friday, September 14, 2007

One Froggy Evening

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Thursday, September 13, 2007

Russian Human Genome Project discovers Extraterrestrial abilities to modify DNA through a "biological internet"

http://www.agoracosmopolitan.com/home/Frontpage/2007/05/15/01569.html

The Russian DNA research article coincidentally mentions the changes in our children in terms of group consciousness. They comment that ‘if humans with full individuality would regain group consciousness they would have a godlike power to create, alter and shape things on Earth and humanity is collectively moving towards a group consciousness of a new kind.’ They state that ‘fifty percent of children will become a problem as soon as they go to school, since the system lumps everyone together and demands adjustment. But the individuality of today’s children is so strong that they refuse this adjustment and resist giving up their idiosyncrasies. … At the same time more and more clairvoyant children are being born. Something in those children is striving more towards group consciousness of a new kind and it can no longer be suppressed.’

Are the Russian researchers in fact referring to what is now called the ADD (attention deficit disorder) child? Unfortunately, because there is no funded global research it’s hard to gain accurate statistics. But, if the process of labelling children as ADD is an indicator of this phenomenon, then we are indeed evolving at an astounding rate.

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Sunday, September 2, 2007

Legendary tale of the Sawtooth

JB

Clash of the Wolf Titans

On a showground just offside Shangri La, a wolf discovered the path to the core of Stanley’s most passionate forces. Elk fans came out in strength as did mighty spokespersons for and against the wolf. Some in the crowd were rooting for more than one entry. The wolf had been waiting for the new cell phone system to be put into place and the best sunny day had arrived. The mate of the wolf –who never loses track of her- waited above a bluff of the towns’ major intersection to behold this event.

Cell phones soon dinged like tiny church bell communiqués throughout the town. Men hanging their snow machines up to dry came outside blinking their eyes. Then the peoples expected reactions began. As the crowd swelled, so too did egos. “Git thee to a Canada!” Shouted one swarthy warrior. Another central Idaho scrutinizer clasping tight to a bag of fresh gingerbread stood forth from the shadows and shouted “That is a really nice wolf sir!” A third fumbled her technology enhancer. When she re-gathered it, one asked her to please check and see what time exactly would that bad moon be rising tonight?

With each attempt to strike at the wolf a ferocious wave wound through the crowd of Stanley Central. The wolf nuzzled its mate that all was accorded to Natures plan. Reflections in the alpha wolfs eyes showed twilight approaching as their stomachs jangled lively with elk meat juices. Meanwhile the experts in the library and bar turned into conversations which mostly concluded that the wolf was a valuable teacher –possibly a messenger of peace- and that if we’d listen, we’d glisten. If not then we’ll just have to Cope.

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Probing intensely for medicinal porpoises

Jim Banholzer

Our sagacious Psychology instructor at CSI served up a recent quandary to “headucate” our class. She caught us off guard asking, “Those of you who are for conducting scientific experiments on animals, please raise you hands.” About half the hands flew up, like chickens winging it to higher tiered henhouses. Then she asked, “How many of you are against this?” About two hands flew up. Several of us had not voted so class members asked for a recount. Our instructor continued, stating, “You are either for animals getting pricked and prodded or you’re against it.” I was dumbfounded and responded, “Well it depends on what you’re testing them for.” I raised a half-voting hand and held the other strongly to the floor, claiming that I was both for and against farming out animal experiments, contingent on the circumstances. Then I blurted out, How about testing for the positive effects of massage on dolphins? I’m all for that. Or on horses? There are people up here who massage horses, of course.

I carried these thoughts home in the twilight, thinking about what other constructive tests we should be conducting on our animal cousins. How about a chart correlating the snapping-dog drop off ratio for meter readers who establish outstanding relationships with pups via freely extending belly rubs and pats on the head?

How about lobbying your powerful congressperson to demolish those darned river dams blocking salmon’s progress? A resurgence of thriving salmon would release sea lions waiting at the mouth of the Snake from culpability. Now there’s an experiment I’d like to see. One year later, conduct physical tests from remote sensors, to inspect the sea lions and check to see how their population is thriving.

Purify the nectar for hummingbird feeders to a higher level, by aerating it back and forth between two glasses. Place regular sugar water (with the recommended essential vitamins) in a second feeder, then have a first-grade class observe them, while scribing in living color their dialectically determined judgments on which of the hummingbirds groups have the most uplifting flights of fancy.

Teaching a bird to parrot John Cleese skits. My hypothesis is that birds of a different color like these will sense the high level of humor they bring into their owners lives will thrive on average three years longer than the control group of non-humorous squawkers.

More novel research:

Invite a dog to bounce on one of those safe newfangled ground level trampolines. Toss him biscuits in the air, while loudly playing a Yogi Berra audio tape in the background. Record the frequency of biscuits caught compared to same efforts on empty stomachs without Berra’s coaching voice.

Smiling at birds. Plant an apple tree in your yard. Water frequently. Do not prune the tree for 37 years, so that the tiny Macintoshes will become unwanted by humans, but much desired by late winter bohemian waxwings passing through the area. Dress warm, quench your own thirst with a draught of strong apple cider, and then sit stone like in a strategic chair adjacent to the fermented apples. Make no quick moves, but practice smiling as broadly as possible in the bright sunshine, making clear eye contact with as many birds as possible. Report results.

Animal tests like these, I’m all for it, actually.

Leaving a tribute for the ants. For homes that have problems with ant infestations. Rather than spraying poisons throughout your house, leave a little food every morning in a far corner of the yard –away from the dwelling. See if this has any affect. Also have the kids inspect the ants to see if they can locate any dawdlers or does every ant seem like it’s on a serious mission?

Toward the end of our class period, my instructor turned to me and said, 'and you there you young whippersnapper' (about the nicest thing I’ve heard all year), 'keep up that critical thinking of yours!'

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